👏🏼 May I be blunt with you for a minute?
The truth about dreaming is that the most potent force acting against them is our own self-limiting thought.
No one in this world thinks you are going to fail as passionately as your inner critic.
✨ Even the most confident people, even the most resilient dreamers, battle their self-limitation daily. It is ultimately inevitable, so what do we do about it? ✨
How do we knock down these walls we built for ourselves?
How do you tap into what lies inside of them?
For most of my life, and I would argue most of yours, I woke up thinking of all the things I had to get done to succeed, to make it to the end of the week, or to get that paycheck.
We spend most of our lives going to bed, making a list of all our obligations and expectations to wake up to the next day.
👉🏼 Although these things find themselves necessary, they aren’t the end all be all of what we were created to be.
When I started letting curiosity and dreaming into my life, going to bed at night, and waking up in the morning was a whole new experience. It wasn’t/isn’t as easy, honestly. Because it wasn’t dull in the sense of sameness.
Every time we allow our minds to write stories and ask questions that come with fear, we find freedom from our own self-limitation.
After going through a season of numbness towards growth and exploration, the fear that occurred in the breakthrough was and still tends to be heavy.
In came the fear of rejection,
the fear that someone else has already done my work better,
the fear that I won’t be taken seriously,
and the fear that I won’t have the discipline to bring all my curiosity to life.
“Fear and creativity shared a womb, they were born at the same time.”
Elizabeth Gilbert
So how do we, as dream-filled people, people with aspirations and goals, take this fear and self-limitation and turn it into magic?
How do we access the wonder inside of us that has been whited out by systems of sameness?
First, we start with something tangible. A Self-Limitation we can identify.
Start really observing your surroundings.
This is when you start looking at the people you allow into your life and the activities you decide to partake in.
Within this space, I challenge you to find something that activates your curiosity. Find something that makes you want to ask why.
For me, this looked like organizational behavior. I know it doesn’t sound magical to you, but to me, it was. I was working full-time at a job that was getting me through school and “paid” the bills. My dreams were on hold for school and for other people’s dreams. I was practically spent on creativity and freedom, but the thing I held dear to me day in and day out was my curiosity on workplace dynamics and health.
I spent so much time asking why and how decisions were being made. I read articles and wrote small observations about how people reacted to specific policies and managerial decisions. There was a surplus of particular actions and lacking in other areas. I was locked in on it.
✨It ignited my desire to develop and enhance the culture and environment in which I was in.✨
This led to me realizing I was in a place I did not need to be anymore.
I was grateful for every experience it provided, but my curiosity told me it was time to move on.
There are things that you should allow yourself to question and observe that may eventually lead to you realizing where you are and where you want to be, look nothing like what you thought they would.
Second, give yourself space to dream.
We get so wrapped in all the have-tos that we often forget about the want-tos.
If you just took a little extra time today writing down all the things you wish you could do and then what SMALL step you could take towards making one of those things happen, you would be surprised at what you accomplish over a short stretch of time.
You don’t have to change everything overnight.
You don’t have to quit your job.
You don’t have to spend all of your savings.
You don’t even have to tell anyone about it.
You simply give yourself the mental space to visualize.
Hopefully, if you allow it enough, you will start to see yourself bringing those dreams and possibilities into your life little by little.
Action becomes key, once you have visulized the dream.
👏🏼 But life is not a race.
Over time you see opportunities manifest in your everyday decisions and your bedtime prayers. Don’t make it more complicated than you have to.
Third, remember that every time you fail, starting again is easier! Self Limitation is limited.
I just think this concept is so cool.
The best example I have is when it comes to switching to a healthier diet.
The first time you try it, it is the hardest thing you have ever done. You walk into the grocery store and find yourself overwhelmed and confused. Recipes call for items you have never even heard of.
It takes so much more thought to meal prep and budget. The first time you try, you “fail.”
You “fail” like one-week in.
You “fail”, and you get so mad and frustrated, so you walk away.
But guess what, when you get ready to try again three months later, you remember the snacks that you learned to love during try number one. You have a few recipes already printed off. You have an idea of how to budget it out.
So you do it for three weeks this time.
You learn more about different kinds of milk and flours. You gain an appreciation for kale.
Then you “fail.” You fall off the wagon, and it’s not until a year later until you try again.
BUT GUESS WHAT! This time it is even easier to start!
Your health can become a non-negotiable.
You cannot expect yourself to know everything. That expectation makes your goals and dreams to heavy to carry.
You have to give yourself grace in the “failure” because, in reality, you aren’t failing as much as you are learning to succeed for the next time!
The weight of self-limitation looks a lot like fear, and it seems a lot like filled up space, and it is fueled by your act of never even starting.
Argue for your limitations, and you get to keep them.
Kelly Lee Phipps
