Being Wrong and Becoming Right

The way I like to really address the whole “being wrong” concept is by leaning into my knack for playing the role of “master of bullshit.”

“Bullshit. 150% of the time. Full of it.”

-Direct quote from me this past weekend, admitting I had no idea what the heck I was talking about

I can admit that my curiosity and desire to learn pushes me out of my comfort zone and wakes me up to the fact that sometimes even the things I have the highest sense of certainty about could be illustrations on how I think things should be, not how they are.

This made writing academic essays a breeze and talking my way out of trouble came pretty natural growing up.

The Not Knowing

For a long time, I feared the “not knowing” so much that I played “the expert” in areas I had no place playing the role of an expert in.

Realizing that if I want to grow in being curious, creative, honest, and open, I must also be able to recognize when I am not being honest, curious, creative, or open.

I want to hand my title as the master of bull shit over and welcome in the beautiful truth that to learn more, I must be able to admit when I am wrong.

I want to continue learning so I can keep sharing, like this blog, for example.

The more I come to love this concept, the more I have been catching myself answering people’s questions and then turning around on my answer and making sure that they know that my response came from a place of “I think,” not “I know.”

A place of, “let’s dicuss” not “I am right.”

Openness over outrightness.

It is an autopilot response to state facts without backing them up, telling little white lies for the sake of a good story, and replacing authentic connection with emotional protection.

Simply because I have read a few books and cried a few tears, doesn’t make me an expert, it simply gives me a perspective to continue to develop my values and destroy faulty belief.

It gives me the desire and passion for writing and sharing this journey, even if no one shares in the discovery with me.

There are things I am certain of:

My house has a yellow door.

My parents love me.

I ate a jalapeño sausage wrap for dinner tonight.

I am learning to take responsibility for my shitty actions brought forth in seasons of hurt and discomfort.

Trust is a key component in any relationship.

Things I am less certain of:

The name of that mountain I just claimed to know the name of two seconds after you asked me.

The location of the restaurant you just asked me to give you directions to that I pretended to know where it was.

How my friend feels about the music I chose to play on the road trips.

How my exes perceive my current existence based solely on my social media presence.

Becoming comfortable with educated guesses over outright certainty.

There is ridiculous freedom when you open your mind up the possibility that being wrong isn’t the worst thing, but rather a grand opportunity to learn and grow.

I was wrong about where I was emotionally and spiritually when I returned home from Mexico.

I was wrong about how I thought relationships were supposed to work or how love was supposed to feel.

I was wrong about certain people and the way I made them out to be in my head.

Every single time I take responsibility for my ability to be wrong, I learn something new, I uncover different truth, and a weight is lifted from my shoulders.

When I wake up every day willing to explore the “I don’t knows” and laying down my expert bias, expecting everyone to understand or think the same way I do, I open my mind up to the possibilities of being closer to the right answer.

I can be more creative, more loving, and more honest.

Trusting the process

You have to trust that embracing the possibility that you are full of bullshit sometimes and that does not make you any less credible, or trustworthy, or any less influential.

In fact

You want to follow and trust and be guided by people who own up to when they make mistakes, make comments they later look back on when new perspective, and ones who embrace the wrongness as a lesson to learn more.

I am in the process of editing my book, and going back and reading all the things I wrote months ago makes me so so proud. I stand by my words and thoughts and perspective.

At the end of my book, though, in my conclusion, I admit that the perspective I have today may differ from the one I have ten years from now. I may read my book and see new lessons and different holes in my arguments.

Because of this, I encourage you to always read things for the value they have, but you do not always have to take them on as your values.

I am willing to admit that I do not know everything. I am ready to address moments when my bull shit gets the best of me.

However, I am also incredibly passionate about sharing my journey, recognizing you in yours, and growing and learning every single day.

Honor new thought, be willing to admit when your full of bull shit and always be eager to learn.