My Health, both mental and physical, is Non-Negotiable.

👏🏼 It seems like something we shouldn’t have to say, but it is.

My health journey has been one well over six years in the making.

Sprinkled throughout this journey, my weight was a significant indicator of my mental and physical health, but it was very seldomly about the weight at all. It was very seldomly about skincare. It was very seldomly about fitting a certain standard.

So for my friends who are reading this wondering what they need to know about taking their health seriously, be warned that it’s not about a 30-day-diet or magic skincare regimen or perfect workout.

It is about showing up for yourself every damn day.

Eating food that makes your body happy.

Learning how to exercise your mind and your body.

Changing your vocabulary.

It is about being willing to fail at it a thousand times.

It is about shutting down your limiting beliefs.

It is not easy. If anyone tells you that gaining a full appreciation for your mind and your body is comfortable, they are only selling you short of your true potential.

When I was sixteen, I started experiencing incredibly irregular periods, weight gain/loss, and unpredictable mood swings. We obviously went to the doctor to get to the bottom of things after I bled for three months straight.

The Fight For Non-Negotiable 👈🏼

The doctor’s response, “we can put you on birth control, and then when you are ready to have kids, we will see if there is a problem.”

They weren’t willing to draw blood, have me log my food, or even encourage regular exercise.

They wanted me to put a band-aid on a bullet hole.

I am so glad my mom dragged me out of there that day.

For three years, we tried every combination of vitamins and regimens we thought might help figure it out. At this point, I was still in high school, and it was ridiculously difficult to change my eating and exercise habits because of social influence, so the problems continued.

At the age of nineteen, during my first semester of college, I gained thirty pounds in three months and faced what I later could identify as intense levels of anxiety for the first time in my life.

🙋🏼‍♀️ I needed to find someone who could help me.

My health hero was disguised as a chiropractor. When I showed up to his office, I quickly learned this guy meant business, and he was in the business of more than cracking bones. He wanted to know in depth my daily habits, my daily symptoms. He asked about my mental health and my periods. He ran blood and had me take a two-week -long-at-home test to gauge specific responses my body had to my diet and routine.

After everything, he told me:

“Cut out dairy. It is your biggest problem. You want your hormones fixed, no more milk. Then start working on everything else. I am not saying you participate in a diet fad. I am telling you to change your habits in every area of your life in order to take care of your body.”

This worked for a moment, the no milk thing, but it stopped working.

Not because what he said was wrong, but because my mindset was wrong.

At that time in my life, my health was negotiable.

I would rather eat whatever I wanted if it meant hanging out with friends all the time. I would rather nap all afternoon than learn how to use the equipment at the gym. I would instead put off all my homework into the late of the night and run on five hours of sleep for multiple days in a row. It was part of the culture.

I chose to struggle with my health so I could “succeed” socially.

Not only was I the heaviest weight I had ever been, but I was also the most anxious I had ever been. Panic attacks became normal. Of course, VERY FEW people knew they were happening. I was really good at hiding the negative emotions and the complete instability of my mindset.

I had some pretty big moments of breakthrough over the past few years. One of them, including the time I practically passed out on a hike with friends because little did I know I was struggling with anemia and a whole slew of other issues that my poor diet and mental health were bringing on.

🤷🏼‍♀️ None of those breakthroughs were enough, though. I would start, and I would stop.

I went to Mexico, and for two weeks, I was physically and mentally most ill I had ever been in my entire life.

I couldn’t eat, and I couldn’t sleep. So when I came home, two weeks earlier than planned, I knew something had to change.

I had a very distorted view of my body, but I also have always had subtle confidence running through my veins.

Since I was little, I never wanted to be someone else or look like someone else, but I wanted to be my best self. 

I started to speak incredibly kindly and passionately to that confidence. I encouraged her to come out from the shadows of my mind.

At that time though, she was easily spooked.

I made a ton of steps in the right direction, but then it all went stagnant.

The thing is, it wasn’t a food issue, or an exercise issue, or a vitamin issue. It was a heart issue. It was a mind issue.

It was an issue that could only be resolved by me being willing to pull out all the gross inside of me. It was an issue that required me to look at pain, look at negativity, look at my story

It has taken me months since then to wake up and realize this isn’t a fad. This isn’t a slight shift in my lifestyle. This is my life.

It feels like overnight, my anxiety disappeared, the weight that I wanted to lose melted away, and felt more myself than I think I ever have in my life, but it wasn’t overnight.

It was over six years in the making.

There is NO thirty-day solution, but once you get started on the work, thirty days can change your life.

There is NO magic workout, but once you learn to exercise, you realize how badly your body craves it.

There is NO image I compare myself to in order to set goals, but now I look in the mirror and fall in love with myself every damn day (Some days easier than others.) I am my own goal-setter.

✨Taking care of my body. Non-negotiable

✨Taking care of my mind. Non-negotiable.

👉🏼 So if you want to go get ice cream? I am bringing my pint of dairy-free cookies and cream.

👉🏼 Want to hang out tonight? After my workout/yoga.

👉🏼 Want to spend all of our time together complaining and having empty conversations? We might not hang out as much.

(Not saying you can’t have a bad day or come to me when you are hurting, but realize that there is only so much space for the struggle before you have to let go and allow yourself to heal.)

So if you are reading this in hopes of finding the answer to why you can’t lose the weight, you cant get the perfect skin, your periods are the worst thing in the world, my advice to you revolves around the fact that you are most likely focusing on all the wrong things.

Know Yourself.

You are going to have to do a shit ton of digging deep to get to the point where your own limiting-beliefs are no longer the thing holding you back.

The reality is, they are the only thing holding you back. Start small. Start with a why question. Start with looking in the mirror and speaking kindly to what you see. Read this blog post to uncover more: Three Ways to Conquer Your Self-Limiting Belief.

Educate Yourself.

Read books. Listen to podcasts. Watch videos. Ask your friends. Read blogs like this one: Five Ways to Keep Fitness Fun

Be Kind and Listen.

This is not about your worth as a physical being. This is not about counting calories. This is not about impressing boys or girls.

This is about BEING KIND to the body you are so lucky to have. Your body does so much for you, and you need to listen to it. If it is telling you something is wrong, do everything you can to fix it.

Your mind will thank you.